Movie Review: Life by Daniel Espinosa

spoil

WARNING: There are spoilers.

                                                     life.jpg

Anyways, let me just clarify that I am not one to see space movies. I’ve never been interested in seeing this category of movies nor do I believe I ever will be. But I am such a good friend that I accepted the invitation offered to me to go watch this movie called “Life.” Wow you can really tell it probably took them a while to come up with that title right? HA.

Despite my tone in the paragraph before, I believe this was actually a pretty decent movie. Trust me that is a lot coming from me. Now I will be honest with you, the names of the characters are a blur to me so I will be giving you a brief description of what I saw in the movie and then my review will be last.  Cool with you? Yes? Ok lets do this.

lets.jpg

Now, obviously this movie takes place in space with about 7 people working on board. Like I stated before, I do not know the names of these dudes but I know Ryan Reynolds is one of them (My goodness he’s gorgeous.) Furthermore, they basically discover life in some jellyfish-looking thing from Mars. When the news was received back on Earth, the new life form was named Calvin. Calvin was kept in a clear tank that had two gloves sticking out in order for one of the characters to experiment with it and analyze every movement it made. It was said that Calvin can withstand anything a human can and that he needed oxygen to breathe as well. Now everything was going pretty well until Papa Calvin, the man who brought Calvin to life, made some type of mistake LIKE HELLO HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES WHEN YOU HAVE A NEW LIFE FORM RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU MAN?! Yeah so this minor mistake, basically put Calvin into a sort of deep sleep that stopped his movement. Papa Calvin had to get inside and enter his hands into the gloves to revive or wake up Calvin with an electrical rod. Meanwhile, all the others on board where outside the room watching his every move. Papa Calvin was able to wake Calvin up but created a reaction that would cost everyone their lives.

DUN DUN DUUUUUNN…

dundundun.gif

Calvin lost control and grabbed a hold of Papa Calvin’s hand. The strength of Calvin’s hold was extreme and caused the hands’ bones to break. Screaming in agony, Papa Calvin was not able to remove his hand from Calvin’s grip. When he tried to distract Calvin with the rod by entering his other hand into the second glove, Calvin reached over and took full control of both hands. I assume that due to the extreme pain that Papa  Calvin was going through, he passed out and only then did Calvin loosen his grip. So Calvin is supremely intelligent and used the metal rod to poke a hole into the glove and escape his enclosure. No one is supposed to enter the room with Calvin on the loose but Ryan’s character was just like “Screw it” and entered to drag Papa Calvin’s body out. To his disadvantage, Calvin stuck to his leg, forcing him to close the door in front of him and stay trapped. Moments after he tried to kill the stupid thing, Ryan’s character dies from Calvin launching himself into his mouth and entering his body. Next you just see the character spiting out his blood and dying.

The remainder of the film is really just, one by one, the rest of the space crew dying. Finally, when the story was coming to its end, the last two survivors came up with a plan to stop the killing machine. At this point of the film I had already given up. The movie had so many surprises and nail-biting moments that I was completely overwhelmed by all my emotions. The movie had succeeded in having me on the edge of my seat. In the end, the surviving characters decided that one of them was basically going to sacrifice his own life to let the other person get back to Earth. Let me just mention that the spacecraft was running out of air as it is. Since Calvin needed oxygen to survive just like us, the man that was going to technically die, started to lure Calvin with these light plans that I believe spurred out oxygen since Calvin was actually attracted to it. There were two life-machine-things-that-I-don’t-know-what-they’re-called that can export one passenger each back to Earth. In one of them, was the surviving lady person and in the other was the main who decided he just wanted to die with the damn alien. Now here is when my heart started to relax a bit and calm down because my dumb butt assumed that all was going to end well with the girl and that she was going to get home safe.

uh

yeah I was wrong.

LIKE UGH. REALLY?!

The director just decided to slap me across the face with the biggest plot twist of man freaking kind and have the two of the life machine things go opposite ways!

facepalm

WHAT.THE.HECK.

So you may be thinking that everything will end well and that the guy who sacrificed himself in the space thing with Calvin was blown off into deep space. You may also be assuming that the girl survived and that the space machine she was in was blown off to Earth. YOU MAY ALSO THINK that the movie would end that way and that at least the girl would survive.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…NO.

deskflip

ACTUALLY, the complete opposite happened. Next thing I knew, the movie cuts to the girl screaming for her freaking life and losing all connection to Earth as her machine thing was quickly flying off into deep space. The other space machine that including THE DAMN CALVIN ALIEN LITTLE TURD and the suicide man flew back into Earth and landed in the ocean near two fishermen in what I believe was either Thailand or the Philippines. You see suicide man was completely taken over by Calvin but screaming though the pain to the fishermen to not open the dang doors but do you think they listened to him? LOL

NOPE THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN EITHER.

The guys opened the doors and the screen just fades away.

THE END.

Yeah I wasn’t expecting that ending and just lost my mind when I saw it. Overall this was a great film and I did enjoy watching it. But, come on now Mr. Director, why you do me this?

I give this film 9/10 alien turds only because the ending wasn’t a happy one.

SAD

LIKE PORQUE?!

tenor

WHY?!?!?!??!

Either way I hope you enjoyed reading this movie review as much as I slightly enjoyed typing it up lol.

p.s. you can follow the blog’s Instagram account @xolauriis where you’ll be able to get notified when I will be posting!

Just a heads up ya know

you don’t have to follow.

But you should

no pressure

K bye!

 

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